Lord of Shadows Epilogue (unofficial)
by oceanofwords8
Summary: Time should have stopped, Emma thought. The clock should have shattered the moment the ragged blade had driven into Livvy’s chest, shattering her heart, and with it, Julian’s. Ty’s. Her family's. NOT an official epilogue. I just had to comfort myself by writing an ending in which Livvy survives...


**A/N: I own nothing except the plot. This is not an official epilogue, it's only what I needed to tell myself in order to survive the next two years of waiting for Queen of Air and Darkness. Contains SPOILERS, so I recommend you don't read it if you haven't read Lord of Shadows. I admit that I'm in denial about Livvy's death, which was so cruel, so I'll pretend she survives. This is my first fanfiction, so please bear with my clumsy writing. Reviews and constructive criticism would be very much appreciated. :)**

 **Enjoy!**

The voices around Emma were deafening; the chiming of the bell deep and steady. It conveyed a sense of ancient reliability, a steady rhythm, like a slow-beating heart. It was completely at odds with the chaos in the room. It was twisted and _wrong_ , Emma thought, because the fabric of the world had shifted. Nothing made sense anymore. Time should have stopped, the clock should have shattered the moment the ragged blade had driven into Livvy's chest, shattering her heart, and with it, Julian's. Ty's. All her family, who had walked into this hall with hope. With the prospect of returning home soon, reunited.

Emma swayed as she turned back from the spot where Annabel had vanished. Her arm still tingled, and in the far recesses of her brain, a memory stirred, of another time it had felt this way, but she hardly noticed. All she could see was Julian, her Julian, soaked through with the blood of his sister –who was dearer to him than his own life – crouched low over her, his whole body shaking. He was whispering to her, stroking her hair, rocking back and forth desperately. And she could feel the waves of his pain crushing over her, adding to her own; a wild torrent that threatened to pull her under.

But she had to fight, for him; she had to get to Julian, had to hold him, because that was what _parabatai_ were for – to be there, to give each other strength when it was needed most.

Her strides widened and she was running, pushing Cortana back in its scabbard as she flew through the hall and flung herself down on the floor beside Julian and Livvy. He didn't look up, his face was pale as ash, his voice cracked, broken as he whispered to his sister, pulled the splintered sword from her chest with the utmost tenderness.

 _If Julian was broken, then the whole world was broken, and nothing would be right again_.

Emma reached for his hand, and he took it, clung to it as if he were a boat adrift in a violent storm and she his only anchor. She felt the surge of energy rush through her at the contact of his skin on hers, but this time, it was different. It was as if a roiling mass of raw power was flowing through her veins; the force of her and Julian's combined pain was overpowering, making her dizzy. Julian gave an odd choking sound and lifted his eyes for a moment. He didn't look at her, but Emma still saw the depth in them, like an abyss. All his walls were down, exposing his deepest, most desperate core, and her heart shattered all over again.

Then, the shaking fingers of his other hand lifted the stele to Livvy's arm and began to draw.

"Julian," whispered Emma, suddenly alarmed.

Julian just pressed the stele harder onto Livvy's skin, as if he wanted to carve the rune into her bone, and Emma felt him thrust all their combined force into the fragile instrument in his hand. The _iraze_ unfurled gracefully beneath his artist's fingers, but to her astonishment, it was not black – the edges began to pulse eerily in a deep, blood red.

"Julian," repeated Emma, horror tingeing her voice, and grabbed his hand harder. "What are you –"

But she fell silent. Julian had finished the _iraze_ , but it had not sunk uselessly into Livvy's skin. Instead, its pulsing glow seemed to slowly spread through her veins, mapping them out clearly beneath the paleness of her arms, travelling steadily.

"What have you done?" Emma whispered, her eyes following the intricate trace of magic travelling through Livvy's body. She prayed the angel may have mercy and let nobody else notice what was unfolding.

"Whatever I could." Julian said, his low voice sounding almost steady, but Emma was not fooled. He was standing on the brink of an abyss.

She looked around to see Ty still on the floor, Mark bending over him protectively. Dru had her face buried in Helen's shoulder, her whole body shaking with her sobs while tears ran down Helen's face as she whispered in Dru's ear. Aline had laid a gentle hand on her wife's back, a helpless gesture of comfort.

It wasn't fair, Emma thought. They had already lost so much.

She felt Julian tense, and looked back at Livia. She froze. The magic in Livvy's veins had reached the ragged edges of her wound and seemed to pour into it, emitting a faint glow that changed and shifted, like dying embers in a fireplace.

Julian's fingers tightened around Emma's, it was almost painful, but she hardly noticed.

The glow that filled Livvy's body from within seemed to draw towards one point, seemed to concentrate into one tight ball of power, and gave a lurch. As suddenly as it had come, the soft glow disappeared.

"Livvy," whispered Julian coarsely, drawing his fingers over her cheek with incredible gentleness, the desperation in his voice almost tangible. "Livia, my baby, please. Can you hear me? Livvy, can you hear me? Livvy. Livvy, _please_."

Livvy's fingers twitched.

"Livia!" Julian let go of Emma's hand and scrambled for Livvy's; his fingers searching her wrist for a pulse. The moments of silence were agonizing. Then he turned to Emma, meeting her eyes for the first time since she had returned to him. His sea-blue eyes were roiling with emotion, fear, hope, incomprehension, astonishment.

"Tell me, Julian," she whispered, her voice strained with barely contained hope.

"I feel a pulse," he breathed. "I think so, at least. Emma, tell me you feel it too! Tell me I'm not losing my mind!"

Emma hurried to press two of her fingers to Livvy's right wrist that Jules was still holding, and prayed. A slow, faint beat fluttered through Livvy's veins.

"By the angel," gasped Emma. "How is this possible? How is it possible, Jules?"

She knew he understood what she meant. How is this possible, when Livvy was dead? How could we have so much power? Is the curse this strong already?

"She needs the Silent Brothers," he murmured, pushing away Emma's questions. His eyes were darting over his sister's body, searching for more signs of life. "She must be weak. God, Livvy"

Emma sprang to her feet. "There's got to be a Silent Brother here somewhere," she said, her voice dark and determined. "They always escort the Mortal Sword from the Silent City."

Her eyes feverishly swept the room. The members of the cohort were shouting over each other, some of them besieging Jia Penhallow, who was just stepping back from Robert Lightwood's body. In the cluster of people surrounding the inquisitor, Emma thought she spotted a flash of parchment-colored robe, and she set off running.

...oOo...

"So she will be alright?" Kit asked a very pale Julian, whose shirt was still sticky with blood. It gave him a very creepy look. They had all gathered around Livia's bed in a building the others had called "the Basilia", all except for Helen and Aline, who had gone to find Tavvy, and for a long time, no one had spoken a word.

"The Silent Brothers say she just needs rest and plenty of blood-replenishing runes," Emma answered in her _parabatai_ 's stead. She threw Julian a quick look that Kit didn't quite understand. "They say she must have been very lucky."

"Lucky indeed," said Diana, whose face was also deathly white. "I saw what's left of the Mortal Sword – how could anyone have survived that? No _iraze_ has that much power"

Kit saw Emma tense.

"The angel must have shown her great mercy," Cristina said in a low voice. "She is still needed here."

Yes, she is, Kit thought to himself. He threw a look at Ty, who sat glued to the head of Livvy's bed, his eyes never leaving her face, his fingers a blur of movement at his side. He hadn't spoken a word or reacted to anything that was said to him, but Kit knew from the way his breathing had slowed, that he had calmed down a little bit. To leave Ty stranded in a world without Livvy, Kit thought, would be utterly cruel.

"She will always be needed," muttered Julian. He looked quite composed, but Kit didn't believe his façade for one second. Julian loved his siblings with such fierceness; he couldn't possibly be this detached.

"What do you think will happen now?" Emma asked into the silence. "With the Inquisitor dead, and the Cohort on the rise?"

"And we didn't get the Black Volume of the Dead," added Mark, who was sitting very close to Cristina, his eyes grave. "Neither did Kieran get to testify."

Diana buried her face in her hands. "Where did it all go wrong?" She muttered.

"That bitch Zara," seethed Emma, glowering in the direction of the Gard. "I'd like to introduce her to my fist. Or, preferably, Cortana."

Kid didn't doubt a word. Given the chance, he grimly decided, he would hold Zara down for her. Then his mind flashed back to the Council meeting.

"What do you think made Annabel lose her mind, though?" he asked. "I mean, I get it, she was dead, and that can't be healthy… but she seemed reasonable enough at first"

Emma threw another strange glance at Julian.

"I think it was the Mortal sword," Christina said. "She has been tortured with it in the past."

"No." Julian's voice was quiet. "It was that nobody believed her, just like then. I promised her they would, and they threw things at her. They hurt her again. And I failed her." His voice was barely audible anymore. "It's all my fault."

"No, it's not," Emma said sharply.

"How could you have known?" asked Diana.

"It was the stupid Cohort," chimed in Kit.

"You were doing the right thing." Dru's voice was shaky, but determined.

"Livvy," said Ty.

Every single face turned towards the bed.

Livvy's eyelids fluttered. Ty's shaking fingers grabbed for her hand.

"She's waking up," whispered Dru, her eyes wide.

"Can you hear me, Livvy?" Julian's voice was low, but had a hidden intensity that mad Kit's heart clench. So much love, so much pain.

Livvy's eyes opened. She looked a little dazed, but then her eyes found her twin's. "Ty," she whispered, her voice a little hoarse. "I'm sorry, Ty."

Ty stiffened, Kit could see it in the tight set of his shoulders, and knew he was still upset. Still hadn't processed almost losing her. "You ran off without me," said Ty in a low voice. "I couldn't see you anymore. And then –"

"I'm so sorry. I didn't want to risk you getting hurt." Livvy gave a small smile. "I suppose I should have been more careful."

Julian groaned. Ty smiled back at Livvy uncertainly.

"How are you feeling, Livvy?" Emma asked, her voice gentler than Kit had ever heard it before.

"Do you need something?" added Cristina, leaning forward. "A glass of water? A strength rune?"

"I have a bit of a headache," admitted Livvy, slowly pulling herself halfway into a sitting position and leaning against the headboard. "But other than that, I feel alright. I'd take that water, though"

Cristina hurried to pour her a glass.

Livvy turned her head towards her older brother. "I'm sorry, Jules," she said.

Julian flinched. "I'm never taking you anywhere anymore," he said weakly. Then he launched himself at Livvy and gathered her in his arms, holding her so tightly it looked as though he wanted her to become a part of him. She already was, Kit thought, as Livvy clung to her brother. They all were. Never had he seen a family with bonds that strong; never experienced the kind of love they shared. As the rest of her family started to hug Livia, he turned around silently, with a big lump in his chest. Suddenly he felt like he was intruding on a moment he was no part of, a family he didn't belong. With cold hands, he opened the door and slipped out of the room.

"Kit!" Julian called.

Kit froze.

"Get back here! Where do you think you're sneaking off to?"

Having raised four kids, Kit supposed, nothing could get past Julian. He turned around hesitantly and stepped back into the room.

"I don't want to intrude," he muttered.

"Nonsense," said Julian.

"I don't belong with all of you."

"You do, now, you know," said Ty solemnly. His grey eyes met Kit's, and they were calm and honest. "You're part of our family, too."

Kit felt a grin spread over his fsce, a warm feeling soaring through his chest, and stepped to the bed to hug Livvy.


End file.
